It took a chat with my friend, Sue, and for her to point out what it was that I had been experiencing all week. Just the mention of the word ‘grieving’ confirmed what my emotions knew. Bullseye! I did not see it in myself but I bet I could have spotted it in another. Funny, how blind we can be with ourselves.
Generalized sadness over several days with overall tiredness following several good nights’ sleep, and a slight headachy feeling – the sadness remaining even after energetically “processing” the emotion as I was taught – this was my current state. After 4-5 days of this and given my history of severe depression, my well-trained radar was turned on and had begun scanning for any other symptoms from the deep darkness… But all was clear.
You see, I wasn’t skirting depression at all. (Phewff!) What I had been doing was grieving – grieving the end of The Sewing Studio – which is a perfectly natural response to having closed my first public space for creativity and learning and teaching. And a highly successful venture at that, which continues to pick up steam even as the doors are closing!
But closure does not mean the end of the adventure. Au contraire, closure enables me to open The Sewing Studio – East! A space for creativity and learning, and hosting sewing retreats and workshops in the Village of Gagetown, New Brunswick, where Robert and I plan to retire. I look forward to the next stage in the adventure!
Well, now, isn’t this a much nicer story?
The moving van is lined up for tomorrow, strong volunteers are prepared to lift from either of two piles – one headed for New Brunswick, the other aimed for our Peterborough house, where I will do some teaching during the winter months until we make the final move East.
Having zeroed in and named the funk that I was experiencing, I now feel quite well, and am my own sunny self again. 😏 It’s so good to be me! What j o y !